


I Would Sacrifice Everything For Him

by amberxwrites



Series: Hollyoaks Oneshots [10]
Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: I still ship them, M/M, They're so in love omg, Why Can't They Just Be Happy, and together, best mcnight quote in the history of the world, diane is tolerable, didn't wanna hurt my bby but it had to be done, finn is a complete monster and hurts james, for once, he'll walk through hell for john paul, it's not the same anymore, james is so precious omg, james is so selfless, jp isn't selfish in this one woop woop, obviously, omggggg, starry is still a thing but only cause i didn't want jp to cheat, they ruined mcnight in 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:15:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28555980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberxwrites/pseuds/amberxwrites
Summary: James would do anything for John Paul. He would go through hell for him.And that's exactly what he does.
Relationships: John Paul McQueen/James Nightingale
Series: Hollyoaks Oneshots [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019205
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	I Would Sacrifice Everything For Him

**Author's Note:**

> please don't read if you'll be triggered by mentions of rape <3

_"I thought I had nothing to live for. But then I fell in love. He was a survivor. Someone like you did awful, awful things to him. But he showed me what it's like to go through hell and come out fighting. So I don't care what you do to me cause I'm doing this for him. I would sacrifice everything for him."_

  
That's what I said to Finn and I meant every word of it.

I had been running from love for so long. Mac has taken that love from inside me and I had spent my entire life believing I wasn't capable of caring for another human being. That's what Mac had made me believe, my mother contributing to drilling that inside my brain over the years. I had foolishly given Carter a chance and had my heart broken.

Never again.

After him, I closed myself off once more and decided my mother was right.

Love wasn't worth it.

I truly believed that too.

Until I met John Paul.

It started off as a bit of fun, a one pound bet with Joanne to see if I could split him and his plastic boyfriend. But I fell for him. He was the first man I had actually let myself fall for, my feelings for Carter having been nowhere near as strong.

I hadn't told John Paul that I loved him. I couldn't. I had barely admitted it to myself.

But he understood and he was willing to wait.

Nobody had ever thought I was worth waiting for.

So yes, none of the words I spilled to Finn were hollow. I was willing to go to hell and back for the man I loved.

Finn took advantage of that.

He took advantage of me.

Of course I already knew what he was capable of. He was in prison for raping my boyfriend. I knew what kind of danger I was putting myself in by locking myself in a room with the man, but I gave him more credit than he deserved. I figured even he wouldn't be stupid enough to attack me with so many guards around.

Turns out he really was an idiot.

He had already hit me around the head and knocked me out. Then his mother arrived and I watched with blurred vision as she tried to reason with her son.

It was no use. He had already made up his mind.

He looked his mother in the eyes as he pulled on the waistband of his joggers.

My eyes widened, body tensing up as I realised what was about to happen. Diane looked absolutely terrified, crying out for Finn to think about what he was doing.

He was sick.

A freak.

A monster.

And like the freak he was, he wore a sickening smile as his eyes raked over my body.

"You're nothing. You're just a weak little faggot, just like that pathetic boyfriend of yours."

"You'll never get away with this." I gulped, trying to keep my voice steady. "They'll lock you up for good."

He shrugged. "Better than being out there with people like you."

"Finn, please!" Diane sobbed.

"Not now mum." He smirked, grabbing me by the hips and dragging my pants down to my ankles.

"I've got to teach him a lesson."

The guards tried to stop him, but there was nothing they could do. The glass was unbreakable and the door was locked. It was just me and him. Diane looked sick to her stomach, back towards us as she cried. The guards watched on, helpless and apologetic.

I kept my eyes closed, willing all thoughts of Finn away.

Mac filled my brain once again, but I shook him out.

I closed my eyes and focused on John Paul.

This was for him. I was doing this for him.

I would sacrifice everything for him.

~~~

The guards had me make a statement before they allowed me to go home. They reassured me that Finn would go down for a long time, and told me I wouldn't have to go to court. They offered me a counsellor but I turned it down, knowing I'd just end up drinking to forget anyway.

Anything to numb the pain.

Diane demanded that I let her walk me home, muttering out apologies the entire time.

I tuned her out.

I wasn't angry at her. I didn't blame her.

I just couldn't bring myself to calm her down when I felt absolutely nothing myself.

I was numb.

I was numb to the pain.

Mac had helped me reach that point.

We passed the restaurant, Tony noticing our presence as he made his way outside wit Ste, Harry, Lily, and Scott in tow. They took in Diane's distressed expression before turning their attention to me.

"How did it go?" Tony asked his wife. She opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"Bet you feel dead proud of yourself, don't yer?" Ste sneered, glaring daggers at me. "How dare you defend your boyfriend's rapist. You make me sick!"

"I make myself sick." I murmured, Diane staring up at me with sympathy.

"Did something happen?" Harry asked, eyeing the empty look on my face.

"Finn- he, uhm.."

"He raped me." I blurted out, interrupting Diane's stuttering. All eyes were on me, jaws dropped and eyes wide.

I looked Ste in the eyes, trying to muster up a smile.

It probably looked more like a grimace.

"You were right. I'm sick."

I heard them shouting after me as I left, but I didn't turn back.

I needed my boyfriend.

~~~

I opened the door, locking it before scanning the room for John Paul. He jumped up once he heard me enter, leaning back against the sofa with a stern frown on his face.

"You went through with it then?"

I nodded. "Worked like a charm."

"How do you mean?"

I slipped off my shoes, hanging my coat up on the rack. I took a seat at the counter, avoiding his gaze.

"Let's just say he won't be getting out anytime soon."

"What happened?"

The only reason he knew something was wrong was because I didn't answer right away.

"James?"

I finally looked him in the eyes, realising just why I had put myself through all of it.

"Are you mad at me?" I questioned him, taking him by surprise.

"I'm upset that you went behind my back. But I'm grateful that you kept Finn locked up."

I smiled, a stray tear falling down my cheek. He stepped closer, gently cupping my cheek with his warm hand and wiping the tear away. I leant into his touch, my eyes slipping shut.

"James, what's wrong?"

My eyes felt heavy, head dizzy as the events of the night all came rushing back to me.

"Do you still love me?" I whispered.

He nodded. "More than anything."

"Then it was worth it."

And then everything went black.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on wattpad @randys_sidechick


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